Day One, Part One: Kickoff

BEFORE THIS BIT WE MUST SET THE SCENE FOR NIAOCHAO "So, you are the Upright Tiger of Zhao," the voice of an old man commented. "Your kung fu does you credit." Zhao Peng nearly dropped his sword in startlement. Without turning, he replied, "As does yours, stranger; I had believed this place was only known to myself and my master, Xian 'Paradise Mirror' Gongming." "Your Pillars of Meihua Plum technique shows his training; you should be very proud. But have you mastered the Eternal Suspension Bell defence?" He flew at Peng, drawing a dao with each hand. Peng struck the swords away with a fingertip and swordpoint, bringing out the prescribed sound, soft and clear as a plucked harp string. Three strikes later, Yan Enlai recognised the tune the younger man was playing; it was 'Dog Chases Butterflies,' a popular comical tune. He put the swords away. "So!" "Yes, the Mirror has taught me much, but how do you know his Lily Blooms in Snow attack?" "You may recall that your master was once friends with one Yan Enlai." Zhao Peng was beginning to wonder whether he would blunt his jian on the rocks today. "You are the famous Wizard Stork of Niaochao?" He scrambled to salute his martial uncle and bow to an honoured elder at once, and succeeded in knocking off his own skullcap and send it flying toward Enlai's face. Enlai caught it casually and coughed, waiting for the young man to continue. "It is a great honour to duel with such a master, but I am afraid..." "Afraid? You who were just now so excellently brave?" "Afraid." "Perhaps you will do me the honour of telling me the source of your anxiety. Perhaps I can assuage it." "Indeed, Master Yan, I was on the very verge of doing so, for I think you are able to do just that." "I wait with bated breath!" "Then I will proceed to explain!" "Please do so." "Well then, here it is." Zhao Peng took a deep breath. "My master has enjoined me to remove from the premises anyone that sets foot here, apart from himself and his wife, Soaring Flag." "That is interesting." "Now, herein lies the problem." "The problem lies? My, how versatile these things have become." They both rubbed their chins for a moment, marvelling at this. "Yes, it lies. The problem is simply this: You, sir, are neither my master nor the wife of my master, and thus, I must remove you from here immediately, with force if necessary. But my heart is torn, as I am certain that they would be excited to recieve you, were you but slightly more expected, and I do not wish to take up arms against my martial uncle. Yet I must not shirk my duty." "Absolutely not." "Then we are agreed?" "We are." Zhao Peng was about to sheath his sword when a bright flash of steel confused his vision, and everything became quite black. Peng woke up in a familiar bed, listening to familiar voices speaking an unfamiliar language. He rubbed the sore spot on his temple and groaned loudly. It was several groans later when Soaring Flag came, laughing hysterically at some joke Peng had not heard, with hot tea and hot towel to wash his throat and mop his brow. "Oh, the little Tiger is awake! Come, Peng, you must join us at the table. You will want to hear what Wizard Stork has to say." He obediently dragged on a shirt and ran a hand through his hair. When he entered the kitchen, Wizard Stork was arguing very animatedly with Paradise Mirror, both of them chattering in the rapid Mongolian of the mountains. They stopped when they noticed Peng. "Peng! Come, Peng, sit, sit, come drink some tea," suggested Gongming. "Yes, sit, sit! You should not even be standing, after that fight we had! You must have special kung fu which enables you to recover rapidly from lengthy and exhausting battles," Enlai agreed. "When you were done with me, I had to drink three bottles of wine to stop the floor from spinning!" "You didn't stop at three, you old fish!" shouted Gongming. "Now it is spinning the other way!" They both covered their faces with hands and convulsed. Soaring Flag snickered. "They have been drinking." Zhao Peng looked mildly surprised. "Is that so?" "Yes." "I had no idea." "There are bottles on the table, you observe." "And they are empty, I notice." "There is the evidence!" "But what if they had nothing in them in the first place?" "That is a reasonable question. You will have to trust me." "You pretend that this is a good idea?" Neither of them could continue without stifling a laugh. Flag poured them each a glass and they sat. By this time, the older men had recovered, and they each took one of Zhao Peng's hands. "You, Upright Tiger of Zhao, have a mission!" It was becoming difficult to extract the sense from their hilarity. "What is that?" "You must go to Niaochao!" "What is in Naiochao?" Enlai sobered slightly. "My brother Yan An is holding a martial arts tournament, or perhaps he is inviting guests for an extended garden party? He was insufficiently specific." "Obviously," commented Soaring Flag, who was not a martial artist, "the practice of kung fu has addled his mind." "Obviously," agreed Enlai. "As members of my martial lineage, we hope that you three will join us for whatever festivities may ensue." "I have just begun the eighteen-day training regimen for the Fist of the Empty Gate kung fu, so I will not be able to depart immediately," said Gongming, "so you will travel with Yan Enlai and reach Niaochao immediately, while Mingzhen and I will arrive later. As you do not have horses, we should arrive only a week after you both." Wizard Stork elbowed his friend. "My flying technique has improved since those days, Gongming." "I have no doubt of it! But what of this incompetent?" He indicated Peng. "It's certain that his skills are less than what he shows you. If it were not true, would he be your student?" "You are right, he would not." "Then it is settled, we will arrive a fortnight in advance!" "Two days, or I am the son of a donkey!" "Twelve! I have seen your mother's long ears." The two of them laughed and bickered into the night until Gongming's wife and student threw sandals at them to shut them up. THE NEXT BIT IS ABOUT THEM SETTING OFF