Chapter 2.4: Iron Governor's Wager

Exploding Crane, having heard about the celebration at his ancestral home, was rushing back to Niaochao when he collided with something large. He was about to draw his sword and remove the roadblock—the Imperial roads should, surely, be better maintained than this—when it turned out to be a man's chest, and the chest turned out to have an arm attached, and that arm had a hand that was holding Bo-tiao by the scruff of the neck. "Excuse me, young sir," rumbled the head that, marvellously, was also attached to the chest which was attached to the famous arm, "you seem to have involved me in an accident."

"Yes, well, shame on you. For jumping out of the nowhere like that. I didn't see you."

"Blind men should be careful," noted the large man, "when they are rushing down roads. One might even suggest that this is an activity which thusly impaired fellows should avoid."

Still dangling, Exploding Crane nodded sagely. "Yes, exactly. I shall inform anyone whom I discover of blind of this excellent advice."

The other hand waggled in front of his face. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Are you suggesting that I am blind, sir?"

"I had hoped that you would be aware of this unfortunate state of affairs."

"Your jacket is black, your cap is red, and your eyes are too far apart."

"You must have a remarkable sense of smell. Or is it your hearing that you have perfected, with the Observant Song of the Bat kung fu?"

"I am not blind!"

"Perhaps you should leave such determinations to men who do not involve other, much larger, men in various sorts of collisions and impacts."

"I think I am insulted. Sir, we must do battle!"

"Very well."

"I am—"

"I know who you are."

"You do?"

"No one but the Exploding Crane could have had this conversation with me," the man suggested.

"Then you have me at a disadvantage."

"I will rectify this situation immediately."

"Please do so. Also, please put me down."

He did so. "I am called The Place Between Three Mountains Where Earth is Reddened by Deposits of High-Quality Iron Ore, Mined by Wei for Ten Generations," said he, "but martial artists are busy men, and often refer to me as Iron Governor, who is responsible for the province of Luo."

"What a coincidence!"

"It that so?"

"Only just today, I had heard that a certain Iron Governor of Luo had put a bounty on the head of a barbarian whose name is identical to mine, and as a result, I have had no end of troubles!"

"I am such a man, but you are misinformed."

"Oh?"

"Exactly."

"Please, sir Governor, take the veil of error from my eyes."

"It is not a barbarian's head that the bounty is over, but your very own."

"Well then, that is another reason we should fight."

"I fully agree."

"But allow me to make you a wager."

"Describe it to me," rumbled Iron Governor, "and if it is agreeable, I will make it."

"My father proposes to hold a martial arts tournament at Niaochao."

The governor nodded.

"My suggestion, then, is this: We shall both journey to Niaochao and participate in the tournament. If I achieve a higher rank, then you will remit the bounty monies to me, and I will refrain from visiting Luo for the remainder of your stewardship over that area. In this way, we shall both profit!"

"I see that you have gathered that the bounty is no friendly jest."

"It did not escape me. Should you recieve the higher rank, then I will submit to your sentencing with no further complaint, and indeed award you with an amount equal to the bounty from my own coffers."

"So far, I have no objection to this."

"Then perhaps you will enjoy the third part best."

"Do tell."

"If we are tied in our rank, then neither of us will take the bounty, but rather, you shall double it, and I will not restrain myself from travelling to your country!"

"What benefit is there in this for me?"

"Ah, what else but the excitement of the chase? Having set up circumstances in this manner, I will personally pay half the ransom, so they your state is not spending additional funds, and whether or not I am defeated, it will make Luo famous for the stories of warring kung fu masters there."

Iron Governor laughed. "It is a brave wager. Let us find an inn, so that we may drink tea together and inscribe the terms in the proper manner, and then we will set out for Niaochao."